Ohhhh, that's a toughie. All right, I don't know you anon, but you're asking about a controversial character so...proceed with caution?

First impression : I don't think I had very many strong feelings about Etain, but I remember being disgusted by the way she got pregnant. Reading it now, there are aspects to it that I feel are way more complicated than how the narrative (and Skirata's KT's multi-book gaslighting campaign) present them, so I've eased up on that, but that whole plot is still...Eugh. She wasn't really a preferred character, but I grudgingly tolerated her, I suppose.

Impression now : *drags hands down face* Look, I have done like...so much drafting in my head for months about specific Etain things and this is hard, okay. I nearly don't even want to talk about it without at least three different separate whole entire papers to point to to flesh this shit out, but I'm going to try. Etain's very complicated, primarily because, from a Doylist perspective, so many things about how she's written just. Don't fucking make sense. They really don't make sense. Trying to Watsonian the mess is more than a humble ask game can hold. I'll do my best, but yeesh.

(PS. I've already made a separate post talking about how I feel Etain's badly underutilized as a character, so I won't be talking about that much either, but I still hold true: Etain was really good at espionage and I wish that had gone somewhere.)

But, Etain. She's actually pretty similar to Skirata in personality, I think. Not identical, but they have a lot of overlap, specifically in their flaws and way of behaving toward others, though the way they express these behaviors tends to differ. The core seems the same, though. Etain obviously has shittier self-esteem, but I feel like they both have a fear of abandonment/need to be special that drives a lot of their behaviors, but Etain's more aware of it and Skirata really isn't. I also think they're both very emotions-driven, both compassionate but so starry-eyed with the idea of doing good for people that they steamroll the same people they're trying to help, which leads into them both having major problems with boundaries and basic communication skills, and both very prone to "othering" anyone not in their in-crowd, to differing degrees of severity. If I was going to Watsonian Skirata's constant attacking of Etain throughout the books, I'd say the reason might be besides Etain being a less conventionally attractive woman because Etain and Skirata are too similar, and while she's alive Skirata is probably subconsciously reacting to that. Case: Skirata attacks her constantly for things his own POV will sometimes - amazingly - point out are things he does, too. This never actually goes anywhere, since it neither changes Skirata's behavior toward Etain nor makes him examine himself in any more detail, but I think it says a lot that it's there. It's also an interesting compare and contrast exercise, primarily for the following reason:

Because where Etain's different is that 1) none of the other characters ever let Etain get away with shit, so most of the things she pulls get her called out promptly and severely and 2) Etain actually wants to get better about how she treats people. She struggles sometimes and doesn't always get it right, but she's nearly always willing to listen to criticism and will try to do better come hell or high water, even if she doesn't really know what that looks like and ends up forging determinedly ahead in entirely the wrong direction. The spirit is there. I really, really wish therapy existed in Star Wars, because Etain would really benefit from it.

I also find her conversations with Darman where we get to see her from Darman's POV interesting to read, especially later in the series. Around Darman she's always more confident and secure, and it shows, I think. The neuroticism we see from other outside-in looks at Etain (basically only Ordo and Kal, really) dials down significantly, and without the anxiety you get a young woman who's a little stiff and abrupt, even a little stern, but also surprisingly funny and kind. Someone who maybe doesn't smile often, but man, when they do. I feel like we also got a bit of this during her interactions with Mereel, since I remember her POV chapters with him being much less...self-disparaging. So I mean, at least she had two people in this clan.

I like her character quite a bit now, actually, lol.

Favorite moment : Etain saving Niner and Fi from shrapnel in Hard Contact. She took initiative on her own and was so pleased with herself afterward; it was kinda cute.

Idea for a story : Instead of Etain dying to save the trooper, it was Skirata, for any reason. Doesn't really matter. Mostly Ordo and Etain, on-scene, having to deal with that, and then the associated, longer-term fallout. It probably wouldn't be about Etain, but the narrative could ride around on her shoulder while everything was happening, so it would be Etain-centric. The dynamics alone would be interesting.

Unpopular opinion : OKAY. This is nowhere near comprehensive, but: I no longer really think Etain tricked Darman into unprotected sex with the intent to get pregnant. I feel like there is reasonable evidence to suggest Darman and Etain were already having unprotected sex even before Etain came to her decision, no false pretenses required. And I mean, sure, even if they were, I definitely feel like her thinking about the possibility of pregnancy in the future should have at least prompted her to start a conversation before continuing to have unprotected sex with him, but that's still a far cry from the idea she actively sabotaged agreed-upon birth control measures. (Not even getting into the "but did they even have quality sex education" thing because that's straight up headcanon vs headcanon and that's a nightmare road.)

Favorite relationship : (Sorry, Darman, but) MEREEL. Etain and Mereel's friendship came out of left field, but I actually really, really liked it.

Favorite headcanon : That Etain's intersex. Possibly also trans or questioning.